My Diary by W, Day 36

I cant believe it! My own damned party pulled my boxers down to my ankles and tossed me a Greek salad! I did my best to scare everybody real bad, you know, the way it worked with WMD's and all, and they blinked, called their Congressmen and told them they pass this thing they are gonna get thrown out of office. Dumb shits dont realize if their elekted officials dont vote this thing in them yahoos wont be able to afford a phone to call their elekted officials. Makes me just want to go clear brush and smack one of my retard daughters. Even my Daddy called me today and told me how much all his holdings went down, and how little he was gonna be able to leave me when he dies. I checked out the publik speaking business, thought I might be able to get what Clinton gets, but one Washington bureau told me that I might be a little on the low scale, unless they could throw in one of those dunking games where I sit in a tank over some water and people throw a baseball at a target and I get dunked in the water if they hit. They said I might pull in about 25 grand if I did that and spoke. I told them I'd speak while they were throwing the ball and they upped it to 30K. And I'd wear a Texas Rangers uniform. Hot Cha! They said if I told Dick Cheney jokes, they'd get me 35! Hell, I can do that. I got a million of them.