Stoopit Wurl Two

There are two powerful and opposing forces coursing across the planet right now. One is the youth movement that helped elect Obama. These are the globals, a generation that doesn't see what the hell we are getting our panties in a knot about when it comes to gay marriage, who hate the ignorance of the past eight years, and want a better world, transparency and probably universal health care and a kitten in every pot. Then there are the Putinista's, the United Russia Party's Young Guard. They are responsible for beating the hell out of protestors and screaming nationalistic slogans like "We believe in Russia," etc etc. And the Obamaists and the Putanista's will probably be heading on a collision course the next few years, as they get older and more powerful and as Putin seeks to return the USSR to it's former Evil Empire glory, but this time with better jewelry, flat screens and nicer cars. Woe is us. The only thing we can hope for is an even lower birth rate in the Soviet Union and the continued over consumption of vodka. And that Obama does all the repairing and sword silencing that Bush got so busy doing the past eight years. We'll see. But the Young Guards are as scary as the Obamaists are cuddly. Here we go again.

Throw the bums out

I like slaughters. So dramaic. I like when the 2007 Patriots kicked ass, and I like when USC doesn't just beat oppenents, they shut them out,. And so, Obama whacking McCain is right down my spincter pleasure center. Nice. I am waiting now for BO to win by 6m popular vote, cause I hate the all or nothing electoral college. He needs to win this much electoralteto be able to lead, cause he needs to lead by talking to us, and if you are reading this you are us. Damn, motherfucking black dude is president. How cool is that? President Obama. Sounds like a recipe in New Orleans. Not too hot, not too spicy. But satisfying. Making you curious for more curious fare.
Damn.

Let me at em' Come on' Let me take a swing

I love the Barack, but he's one shitty debatoir! Jeeze. Overall, they told everybody that everybody would get everything, and tax cuts. Can we stop now? NOT GONNA HAPPEN. This is a disaster that needs fuel. The fuel is money. McCains policies won't get them. Obama's will. Here's how: If you hang in on making sure the oil corps pay a higher % of their profits into EITHER general tax base OR alternative energies, the gov can either flow those monies thru OR use private sector profits to spur alternative energy solutions.
Capital Gains taxes are a high emotional deal but yes, you have to have them,. Thats all about avoiding aristocracy or is it too late for that? You have to be willing to tax the rich, cause they have the money, And if it weren't the massive expenditure in the systems to protect their ambitions to persue their rich persuit, they would never be able to get rich, That is to say, our military expenditures protects a system that allows our best and brightest to get rich. Pay for it more than you do . It's jsut patriotic. And I know you think you do in the form of charity, BUT THIS WILL HAVE NO TAX DEDUCTION. Step it up. Just fucking pay more. OK?
Here is my unarguable theory: Push up from the bottom and the top will race to keep at the top. It's called Progess Up versus Trinckle Down. If the middle class feels some breathing room, and feels encouragement, they will live and spend and achieve. That drives rich people crasy, cause they need to be different, and they need things that convince them they are. So they will purchase more to keep the divide. We have been doing that, but falsely, due to home ownership and credit. Give them their money back, void of credit, and you'll have the same behavior. This has been proven true in terms of education, and it holds true in terms of wealth behavior.
If you would like to ask me of my other irrefutable positions, comment below.

my Diary by W, Day...shit.

Laura found out I've been drinking again. Just beer. Have 'em on hand for the service, and Cheney's hunting buddies. It's there. I look puffy on TV these days. Could of sworn the day I hired Paulson, it was cause he had a deep voice. He sounds like he's on helium now. That boy got bald ahead of his time. That's cause he worries too much. I tell Laura, it'll all be fine. Then she tells me I'm drinking again. Just a little. We have beer in the frig for the service and Cheney's hunting buddies. I said that already.

And so it comes to this...

Well, it seems that the biggest threat to our society wasn't terrorists after all. It was AIG, Goldman Sacks, Lehman Bros, Morgan Stanley, CountryWide, most banks, and the government. Us. Them. White skinned guys. Neighbors. And they knew what they were doing and they laughed about it the same way the Enron guys did, a mere five years or so ago. And Washington nodded that they knew something could come up, but hell, everyone was making just too much money to care. Government was the pilot on this one. It knew the terrorrists wanted to fly the plane into the building, but they told the pilots it would be OK, that the plane would go right throught the building and no one would get hurt and it would be cool. These were first class ticket holding terrorists, so the pilots weren't going to deny them. Those tickets kept that plane flying. So they did. And here we are. A bigger drop in the market than 9-11 could even dream of, with worse reprocussions than 9-11 ever saw, for longer. This is a real game changer. We exported the cancer to other countries, got them to fly into their own buildings, and blew up a fuselage full of derivatives. It's about the most embarrassing time I have ever felt to say I'm an American. We suck. Truly we do. And now, as those cocksuckers run off with their loot, millions of retirees are fucked. Guess it's ripe time to privatize social security. Can you imagine if that happened? Giving these greedy, terrorist fucks that kind of money. Jeeze.
I just grabbed my tax return and reduced the money I'm paying in back taxes to the governement by 10 grand. I'm thinking my family might need it more. The government will have to wait for thier bailout money.

Alaskan Mind Meld

I have been having problems putting my thoughts together since the debate. My hands shake upon hitting the keyboard. There is a numbness not just in the digits but in my head. I think I have been affected, like so many, by Sarah Palin's winking at the camera. Every time she winks at me, I forget something. Like how bad the economy is, or how bad the war...shit, are we still fighting a war? And where is it again?
I hope to return to normalcy soon.

Trig is Sarah's and Arnolds Love Child.

No facts yet. Give me 48.

my Diary by W, Day 35

Man, am I glad its RushRushHoma. The Jews are home. The gov just stopped. No more debate on the damed ekonomy. I can watch all the episodes of Dancing with the Stars I had recorded on my recording machine. Snuggle up to Laura. Dick likes to snuggle up on the right side of the bed. Laura doesn't mind. He wants to catch up on the Kardasian girl. He likes wimmen with big butts. I'm a tit man myself.

Its not a severe recession, dog. its a depression!

How hard is it to communicate to the ignoriti that there is no such thing as a severe recession anymore that you can be a little bit pregnant. Its a depression. Money dries up. Business go broke. Bankruptcies erupt. Next thing, there are lines at Starbucks. We were already a socialist capitalism. With sanctions, subsidies, favored nation status, it hasn't been a free market for a real long time. So lets take it to the max. Cause the max is better then the min. Pass the freakin bill. Put the puck into play, see how the market shakes out, This shit is dire. The government will invest the way we should all invest. For the long haul. Nobody gets rich, Nobody goes belly up. But the yahoos don't get it. Their elected officials are more afraid of losing their cushy jobs than they are about DOING THE RIGHT THING. There is NOTHING WRONG WITH SOCIALISM, as long as it is not COMMUNISM, and they are two very different things. Jesus. Its an even Stoopiter Wurl.

My Diary by W, Day 36

I cant believe it! My own damned party pulled my boxers down to my ankles and tossed me a Greek salad! I did my best to scare everybody real bad, you know, the way it worked with WMD's and all, and they blinked, called their Congressmen and told them they pass this thing they are gonna get thrown out of office. Dumb shits dont realize if their elekted officials dont vote this thing in them yahoos wont be able to afford a phone to call their elekted officials. Makes me just want to go clear brush and smack one of my retard daughters. Even my Daddy called me today and told me how much all his holdings went down, and how little he was gonna be able to leave me when he dies. I checked out the publik speaking business, thought I might be able to get what Clinton gets, but one Washington bureau told me that I might be a little on the low scale, unless they could throw in one of those dunking games where I sit in a tank over some water and people throw a baseball at a target and I get dunked in the water if they hit. They said I might pull in about 25 grand if I did that and spoke. I told them I'd speak while they were throwing the ball and they upped it to 30K. And I'd wear a Texas Rangers uniform. Hot Cha! They said if I told Dick Cheney jokes, they'd get me 35! Hell, I can do that. I got a million of them.

Pants on Fire

Oh Christ, somebody called somebody a name, and now that person is going to take down the American Financial system. Nancy -Sit Up Straight and Listen- Pelosi called the past 8 years a bunch of failed policies and now the GOP says it won't vote on the bailout. That'll fix her. And you. And me. Boy, that put her in her place. I know I am but what are you? Liar liar pants on fire. But here's the deal. The GOP, those stallwort advocates of a completely unfettered free market system, except when it comes to subsidies to their constituants, didn't have the votes to carry it, and Pelosi gave them a treat by calling them the incompetants that they are. Then the GOP said if it wasn't for all the name calling, they would've voted for it, but we ain't gonna be called names by a women who is nowhere near as purty as our own Sarah Palin. I'm telling you, the Dems need Megan Fox now more than ever. Draft her to be VP, or speaker, or governor of Delaware or mayor of Baker, let her insult the hell out of the GOP. They'll probably ask for more cause she's so hot. Barack has got to step it up. He's got to get angry. Stern. Wag the finger. Trash talk. Do something big and quotable. You know, I think it doesn't matter. McCain gets in, the problems will be so big, he'll have a cardiac in twelve days, then Moose Palin takes over and it's the Rapture. Obama gets in, tries to conjol and bring everybody together and they'll say "You see, he's not prepared and he's a Muslim! What does he know about free market lap dances."
We're fucked. And it's only Monday.

my Diary by W, Day 37

I got real depressed by the debate Friday night. I didn't know what the hell either one of them was talkling about, with all those words flying around. I'm real tired with this ekonomy. Had to stay up extra late cause some of these fancy pants lejislators are actually reading the damned proposal and making comments on it. When we wrote up the doc on WMD's, it was like 400 pages, real complicated and in the middle we mostly put in sections from Harry Potter's Sorcerers Stone and they never even got there, so this time I told Paulson to make it short cause no one reads anymore and he did. He put it all on one page, even drew a picture of himself behind a stack of money which I thought was cute, but i made him take it out, and what did they do? They went and added all kinds of crap and made it, like, a hundred pages. Now I can't even read it. I tried. I kept falling asleep. Drooled on one whole section. I hate this job. It's like being at a party and you want to go home, but you have to stay cause you have to blow out the candles on the hosts birthday cake. And you can't drink, cause if you did, you'd get all crasy and Laura would give you a raft of shit. Tell you the truth, I not so sure she won't divorce my ass after we get out of here. We haven't talked in weeks. I just notice her getting real interested when ever that Palin girl comes on the TV. I don't think Laura is that lezbian type way, liking girls more than boys, but hell I don't know these days, seems like so many women prefer the company of women than they do men. Or at least men like me. And Dick Chaney. That guy hasn't gotten laid in years.

My Diary by W, Day 39

This sucks. I gave a good speech on how bad the ekonomy is, dammit, and they still didn't pass the Paulson Czar of Every Single Dollar in Your Pocket Plan. Dammit! Now what? The damned dabate is tonite and you know both Olbama and that asshole McCain are gonna blame every problem of the past eight years on me just cause I was President. I'm going down to the white house bowling alley and get drunk like in that scene in There will be blood. I liked that one. He reminded me of myself.

My Diary by W, Day 41

Dammit, 41 days to go and now the damned ekonomie is gettin as bad as Irack before the serge. This job is harder than it was to get a 'C' at Yale. I'm gettin stuck with the whole thing and Dad won't even take my calls anymore, That's OK, I call a higher authority. I call Paulson. Let him take the heat. I gotta explain the ekonomie on TV tonite and what the hell am I gonna say? It's in the toilet is what it is, but I kan't tell the American peeple that! I got to tell them that Osama Bin Laden had most of Al Quaeda's money tied up in sub prime loans and now he's belly up in a cave in Packystan. That's how we did it. We bankrupted the a-hole. Fucking brilliant, right? Gonna tell them that Goldman Sacks sold him a shit load of AIG stock and his pension is under water. Only way to do it. Laura didn't let me in the bedroom last night. Still sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom, which smells like the library at Yale, which I went to once.
If I woulda know this job was this hard, I woulda never let Karl fix the first one. That's who did it! The little pink Rover. I was happy managing a baseball team and perfectin' my Texas accent, and wearing cowboy boots with suits. I liked that. That was the life. Four years of being sober, sort of, really sucks.
Well, we'll see if they bite on the Bin laden thing. Shit, they bit on everything else,

We have seen the enemy and it is us.

Yes, the Federal Government had to step in to bail Wall Street out of the calamity that deregulation caused and that back slapping greed took advantage of. But they should have never had to step in. The last time we had this sort of disaster, and it was disaster lite compared to this, was with the S and L's, in the eighties, with, OMG, a Republican president, who also deregulated the markets, and at the head of it was a guy named Keating, who was located in Arizona, the home state of...Johnny "You can break my arms but not my spirit" McCain. OK, lets forget that. That was such a long time ago in the memory of the elephant iconed GOP. The funniest thing about this whole thing, is that if you think Europe (by the way, our allies, who we will need in the future to help run the Big Stoopit Wurl) didn't think so highly of us after the Iraq debacle ( and it is, happy surge or not) ) can really hate us now for spreading the cancer of Wall Street. We sold them a pile of shit. Thanks. Say, you Yanks are swell. The debt the Federal Government is taking on represents nothing. In the S&L crisis, it was property, land, essentially good stuff. This is crap. So, with 800 billion in reserves in January, the Fed, as of the last two weeks, is down to 2, and the story hasn't even started yet. But there are still people out there who can listen to the rantings of Moose Palin and her pimp Johnny "If I spend one more hour in the sun without SPF 900 I will explode" McCain and actually believe that this party, the party of unfettered cancerous capitalism, will somehow get them out of it, when they are precisely the ones that got us into the mess. Now, here is what happens. The Fed will have to borrow more against Social Security, so thats gone. They will have to borrow against or stop all sorts of entitlements like Medicare so thats gone. Public schools? Right. Roads. Dirt. Bridges? They'll all go to nowhere. The Military? Well, get ready for a draft. Healthcare? Take good care of yourself. You need hard regualtions in a capitalist system. Even as scurrilous a man as Andrew Jackson understood that. You need them because, today, when the internet got big, the Wall Street firms needed new products to keep them viable. So they invented crap. They sliced up the crap and put it in stuff that was OK, and turned those investments to crap. Greenspan allowed it to happen. And the true price tag? Worldwide? 5 trillion dollars. Watch what happens in the next three weeks. Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride in the Big Stoopit Wurl. For the next 5 years, at least. And the crazy thing is that both sides and the getting dumber everyday news services keep asking "Who really understands the economy better?" Guess what, ITS CALLED THE DISMAL SCIENCE. Greenspan, the big brain, either didn't understand it or didn't care. So here we are. Get out your cardboard, your markers, and write your signs for the side of the highway ramps. Hope that a broker who pulled a 70 million dollar end of year bonus selling crap will drive buy and give you one of his. The GOP keeps telling people they'll cut their taxes. While they wage a war, and bail out Wall Street. But the thing they'll have to cut, if they get back in office, is whatever service you have counted on for all your adult life. And it will be a shit storm. To combat it, the Dems need to nominate Megan Fox as president. All the moose hunting yokels will say, "I'm voting for her. She's hotter than Palin." So long Empire. It was good to know ya!

OMG! Science proves conservatives are scardy cats!

It's a matter of record, scientifically proven in a lab, by a group of respected egg head researchers: Conservatives are pussies. Yup. A group of researchers put 46 people with strong political views on both sides of the street in a laboratory setting and blasted them with noise and showed them violent, bloody images. They had electrodes attached to their skin that measured something called electrical conductance, which indicates fear. The conservatives almost pissed themselves at the pictures. A few even cowered under their chairs. The liberals basically could analyse the pictures and understood the meaning of them and probably like having shit attached to their genitals, being liberal and all. Then they measured eye blinks as the subjects reacted to sudden noise. Wouldn't you know, the conservatives - staunch believers in more defense, less people of color, the right to bare automatic weapons with kevlar piercing bullets, the refusal to allow women the right over their own bodies, the belief that the god they believe in is the right one for me and you, drug laws that keep medical marijuana illegal, and the desire to ban books they haven't read - went screaming like little school girls. The liberals, used to listening to the the rants of conservatives these past 8 years, took the noise in stride, yawned once or twice, and asked for "More Sir, could we have some more."
What does this prove? Fear sits like a midget with gas on the shoulders of conservatives. It dictates their beliefs, their behavior. They get spooked real easy. Immigrants spook them. Muslims sppok them. Blacks spook them. Jews spook them. People without guns spook them. Organic food spooks them. Cities spook them. People who speak French spook them. People who speak English spook them. Books spook them. Sandals spook them. Hybrids spook them. And they've been spooked big time since 9-11. And Bush&Co knew that, so they played on it. And McCain and Moose Palin are doing it now. But who knew that it might be genetic, biological, innate? I love knowing this. It makes it easier to argue with them. All you have to do is blast them with an air horn, show them pictures from Antietam, and watch them crumple to the floor and curl up in the fetal position, then slap a $10 OFF coupon at Whole Foods on them and watch their skin burn before you can even say "Global warming." This is one
of the reasons it's a Big Stoopit Wurl. And now, it's a matter of scientific record.

A dollar a lie.

Just about every machine or organization has some sort of default setting. Seat belts ding when not buckled, screen savers activate when your computer is ignored too long, magazine subscriptions automatically renew if you don't cancel, and the name, address and contact info of your child is automatically submitted to the Defense Department in the rules of No Child Left Behind. It just makes life easier, especially for the government. But what is the default setting for politicians who lie repeatedly both on the campaign trail and in office. Like when John McCain's thugs say that Barack Obama wanted to teach kindergartners sex ed, when what he was advocating was awareness of suspicious adult behavior as it relates to pedophilia, which most Democrats think is a bad thing. Or that he wants to tax the middle class when he is advocating middle class tax cuts while McCain wants to reduce taxes for the rich. Or the Sarah Palin had anything to do at all with the Bridge to Nowhere, and that she was a shrewd fiscal manager of her big tiny populated state of Alaska when in fact, she put Alaska in debt for the very first time in it's meager history. We need a Default Setting. I suggest we let factcheck.org supervise the statements of our politicians, and should they be found to lie about a position, or their pasts, or another candidates positions or past, the people of the state or city they represent would be charged one dollar. One dollar a lie. I believe that every Arizonan would be vilgilent in making sure Johnny M didn't lie about Barack O. Or W didn't lie about WMD's or anything else he says. I bet that every Alaskan would make sure Moose Palin didn't open her mouth at all. The proceeds would go to the national infrastructure and to a cause that is at the exact opposite in position of the lying candidate. So, in Moose Palin's case, her Bridge to Nowhere, sold my plane on Ebay, Troopergate lies would help build seven new state-of-the-art abortion clinics in Alaska AND an Islamic Mosque in Waslia with a better hockey rink than the one she ignorantly built on private land with federal funds. This default setting would go along way to helping us educate this BIg Stoopit Wurl and frankly would be hilarious as there would be a big sudden quiet, as three quarters of our politicians would not know what to say.

Throw the bums out

That used to be the remedy for crappy government. This one has had eight long years to impress us, or me, or people like me- you know, those big city elitists that read more than one news source a week and watch more than one network a day - and yet, half the country is still willing to play in the sandbox with the GOP, reward them for half a trillion dollars spent on a war that should have never been waged, which will unite Iraq to Iran, that deregulated the financial sector so that now, they have to bail out the very sector they deregulated and allowed unabashed greed to be the business plan, and has decided to run a moose hunter educated in a handful of minor league colleges who is married to a man with no college education and a couple of DUI's as Vice President for a man who'll probably die or become infirmed his third year in office. And when you talk to those still willing to give this party another hall pass and slap on the back for a job horribly done, they say they don't want big government and are against entitlements for the poor while watching the very government they support grow to an unprecedented size with a national debt to boot while giving entitlements to the wealthiest sector of society. Screw it. Be a patriot and THROW THE BUMS OUT. That's what we're supposed to do in a democracy. It truly is a Big Stoopit Wurl.

Obama's Two Minute Ad

Now, as an antidote to the Big Stoopit Wurl, we have Obama's 2 minute ad. I felt like my mind gargled after the past couple of days. Measured, intelligent, concise, with some details, silky and smooth. I felt comforted and secure with the anticipation that maybe, for the first time in 8 years, there would be someone in the White House with a command of the English language and the intelligence to QUESTION EVERYTHING, including his own beliefs. What a change from the lost idiot son of Crawford who retains the behavior of an alcoholic without the liquor cabinet. What a difference to the jaw clenching, short armed style of the tortured John McCain and his new James Bond girl villan Moose Palin. I am not god fearing because I am not god believing, but so help me God, if you could see kindly to letting this man win, I will both give to and visit your church.

ridiculing the ridiculous

Been meaning to do this for ahwhile. My blog. My venting, observations, bon mots, satire, and what I believe is my skewed wisdom. But I have no affinity for machines, from the toaster to the Mac, and it took awhile. Then John McCain chose Moose Palin as his running mate, and Barack started to fade, and it become clear to me that it is, more so than ever before, A Big Stoopit Wurl. So that's what this is gonna be about most of the time. Hope you enjoy it or hate it just try not to be stoopit.